Tgh Marah2..

Thursday,

Apr

10,

wake up from the wrong site of bed kot...pagi nih yg sepatutnya org tempuhi dengan seluruh Barakah Jumaat...turn out the other way..tgh marah2..rasa mcm nak marah pasal semua bende...bende2 yang selama nih org bottle up and supressed deep down somewhere...even the slightest matter..boleh jadi besar..and tetiba saja beta rasa nak membedil sesiapa sesuka rasa.. dah lama tak luahkan perasaan nih rasanya..tapi selalu jer ckp2 ngan housemet..mesti ada yg x settle..

Padanla dari Subuh tadi rasa lain macam jer..kompius jugak..rasa ketenangan hari jumaat tuh tade..ingat2 balik..owhh...pagi tadi sblm tidur..kepala ligat dengan hujah2 nak emmaki ada seorang makcik nihs...lancar jer kepala dengan hujah2 nak menyerang dier..then pagi nih td bangun rasa letih sgt...hhmm...mmg x sepatutnya kita biarkan diri dalam kemarahan sebelum tidur..nihla akibatnya...

So pg nihs...sesiapa yg terserempak ngan beta..aderla habuannyer...mulut tgh laju kan...kepala pon tgh ligat...sinis jer menyindir org sana sini...taderla marah diorang..tapi sedikit sebanyak kene tempiasnyer...nasib baik ader member...dah tulis semua yg x puas hati kat dier td...nak suruh dier dengar jer...and Alhamdulillah..sudah sejuk dikit..leggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

haha.. zar..zar...buruk perangai..

Susahnyer mencari ketenangan jiwa...sukarnya menjadi org biaser..

Monday,

Mar

24,

Hi miss diary...hari nih zar sakit...susahnya nak melarikan diri kali nihs..kalau sebelum nih zar boleh escape from the pain by neglecting..kenapa susah sangat nak melepaskan diri kali nihs...feels like...hah..couldn't breath...

I was given two choices..satu kerje yg mencabar..but just thinking of it 'll stressed me out..yg satu lagi akan menjadikan aku seorang yg pemalas....it is maybe not me or it is sooo me what d h*** I've chosen the 2nd one...owhhh god...I thought I would be free...but day by day..I was getting bitten bite by bite...Ya Allah.. thinking if I could possibly choosen the wrong decision...How could it be wrong?..I've consulted almost everybody...and they are thingking of about the same...unless..I've been been crazily drove them prior to that by telling how miserable the pther job would be...goshhh...what a shame....

Minggu lepas Zar dah rasa lega dah..ader one good news strucked me a little..giving me a new tiny hope...tapi then the weekend I saw my brother....and he sarcastically said "Zar!!!!!!!! what've you done? entering data?? people will laugh of you when they see your resume!" gosh..I hate that when he said that but how could I deny that..it is true...

Harinih pulak ader meeting with Faizal and En B..I'm still a part of them....I missed Mtce..and keep thinking why Mr BS has come into the picture..

hahahhah....wonder why I started to ask 'why'..I should've prohibited my self from saying this word when it comes to fate...everything should've come for a reason....just the same reason why suddenly today I have another things that pressed me down...Allah....smlm pon Zura brain wash me..and the famous word came again..the comfort zone...damn...

Penat rasanya..sebal hati nih...lama dah x menangis...rasa nak menangis jer..biar air mata yg mengalir sedikit sebanyak membawa pergi dikit rasa pilu..deep pain..as synonym as Hasrah to my name..letih nak berlari...ntah kenapa harus aku berlari aku pon tatau....

tatau...